Author Archives: kbradley1587

Sitting outside in late August, I am reminded that this time of the year carries with it a lot of familiar emotions. If I can be honest, this time of year floods my memory with quite a bit of pain. As summer winds down, I remember how it felt to be a little guy realizing my days of freedom and warm weather had just evaporated before my very eyes. It was like some sick magic trick where one day I had what felt like an eternity of summer in front me and then some twisted magician waved his wand and uttered some unnecessary and unwanted spell and poof – it was gone. Just gone.

And there I sat – feeling completely devastated in my realization that summer was over. It brought about the type of pain that gives you a lump in your throat making it hard to swallow and just as hard to function. Oh, that old familiar pain. Can you close your eyes for a moment and feel it? The pain that commences at the top of your head and travels down your body and through every limb and internal organ to the tips of your toes. The one that causes you to feel disoriented and adrift. Yeah – that one.

If you’re struggling to connect here – think about the letdown you experience the day after Christmas. Or the last day of vacation. Try to recall your kid’s graduation and how excited yet terribly sad that moment felt. Or recall the last sporting event your kid played in when you knew this would be the last time you’d get to see them compete. No more practices. No more travel games. It was over. Cue the orchestra along with the pain.

About a year ago I was honored to officiate a close friend’s daughter’s wedding. And as I watched one of my best friends in the world walk his daughter down the aisle she was radiate and smiling – but he looked like he was about to collapse under the weight of the moment. His little girl. Giving her away. He had but one line “Her mother and I”. Panic was rolling through him like a storm and I could tell the pain he was feeling was the high octane brand. When he did what he needed to do for the ceremony, he sat down and began to cry. Then I cried. And anyone in the crowd who could see him cried. That’s the pain I’m referencing.

As beautiful as it was, the question that begged to be answered was how did he get there? Where did the time go? It was just yesterday that he played with her on a beach at the shore. There could be no conceivable way his little girl was leaving him and starting a new life of her very own. He needed to say something meaningful to her but there were no adequate words available to express his joy and his deep sadness. Yeah – that kind of pain.

But you know – I think I’ve finally figured out that the aforementioned pain is really a good pain. I realize that is a strange statement so stick with me.

This pain is the pain that comes when something beautiful and deeply meaningful ends. If it wasn’t beautiful and life-giving and exciting, I don’t think the pain would exist. It would be like going to the grocery store for a gallon of milk and walking out sad because the task was completed. Doesn’t work that way.

I’m also thinking of our long-time neighbors and friends who recently moved. We lived next to this wonderful family for 25 years but the settlement date was set. And we mourned for weeks as the day drew closer. Finally it was over. The trucks came. The furniture and boxes were loaded and just like that we stood and cried as we replayed many of the the great memories we had made together. Something beautiful had ended.

Contrast this with toxic pain. The kind of pain that is linked to dysfunctional loss or injustice. The pain that leaves you sad and also bitter. You might think of a harsh divorce. Or an abusive parent. The tragic illness or loss of a child. I’m sure goodness can come from these kinds of pain as well – but let’s not confuse the two.

The pain that comes from beauty and goodness becomes the very soil that future goodness and beauty grows from. There’s an old saying that I really don’t care for but I admit there is wisdom contained therein. “Don’t be sad because it’s over. Be glad it happened”. Yeah yeah yeah. I hear you. But if you break that down – there’s something there to consider.

I think about the times when this good pain and sadness were settling in and how I longed for a friend to sit with me. The only thing worse than that kind of pain is going through it alone. Inversely, I’ve also thought about being with a friend who was walking through a deep heartache. What can one say to help? What do we really need in those moments? What words, if any, can lighten their load?

I have a wonderful friend who from time to time will take my hand in a reassuring manner and say “I don’t have any words that can help you, but I’m here for you and will walk through this with you.” Of course, I wish there was some verbal elixir or magic words to ease the pain of the moment but I understand the true gift is simply having a companion and not being alone. So maybe I can deploy the same strategy when I am in a position of supporting a friend. No easy words. No clever turn of phrase. Just a commitment to be there. Beautiful.

I’d like to offer a thought that might assist you as you work through these times of momentary darkness. There is a name for this period in life. Remember the friend I mentioned earlier who promised to walk with me through my pain? She taught me this concept as well. This is known as liminal space. And liminal space is that moment of time when you leave one place but you are not quite into the next place. It’s like standing beneath the threshold of a door between two rooms. You haven’t quite left the one room but you’re not fully into the next room either. It’s the ride home from summer vacation when vacation is done but you’re not home yet. That is liminal space.

And here is a life hack. Liminal space, while painful as hell, is a wonderful space to exist in for a while. Let it teach you. Don’t rush through it. It’s tempting to move on and avoid the pain altogether but if you do you’ll miss the essence of life. Give yourself time to feel these moments and leverage it for growth.

Author and Life Coach Nancy Levin wrote, “Honor the space between no longer and not yet”. That’s simply fantastic. The space she is referencing is filled with joy and intense pain. The “no longer” is an empty house after the kids have moved out or taking down the Christmas tree and decorations after New Year’s Day. It’s cleaning out your drawer of love notes from the person who just dumped you or losing your job of 15 years after pouring your heart and soul into your company. It’s like the darkness the drifts in after sunset on a fall afternoon. It’s still. Quiet. Often lonely. Yet it’s also rich with memories and emotions that we desperately cling to so we never lose what is now sadly become the “no longer”.

I suppose it’s human nature, but during these times we often forget about the “not yet” part of the equation. But rest assured it is coming. The “not yet” will one day appear and it will be like the sunrise on a summer morning on a quiet beach as the surf performs its graceful dance. We will soon be standing on the brink of a new day whose time has finally come. And while the “no longer” and its pain will always remain with us, it gets lighter as the “not yet” turns into “now”.

But the brilliance in Levin’s quote is the thought about honoring the space (or time) between the no longer and not yet. Honor the good pain. Accept it. Embrace it. Cradle it like a newborn and love it. Honor and protect that space and the corresponding pain.

As I watched my friend ‘quiet cry’ at his daughter’s wedding, I stopped the ceremony for a moment to mark the significance of what my friend was experiencing. I suspect he wanted to kill me for going off script to recognize and honor this moment. But we collectively acknowledged and embraced the “no longer” with my friend. We literally honored the space between “no longer” and “not yet”. But today I watch him beam with unmentionable pride when his daughter and wonderful new son walk into their house. The “not yet” has died and given way to the new “now” and it’s pure magic to experience.

Sadly, every year my summers of youth ended but it only took a few days back in school with my friends enjoying cooler weather and romantic autumn nights once more to recover and move through the pain. Soon it would be Halloween and Thanksgiving. ‘It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown’ and the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade would replace the daytime beach and evening fire flies. On the last day of summer I struggled to move past the “no longer”. But after some time in liminal space, autumn made summer feel like a distant memory with all of its own excitement and wonder!

So, how are you today? Are you stuck in liminal space? Does life feel incredibly heavy and sad? It’s ok. Don’t rush through it. We are here together. You’re not alone. I promise. Do your best in this space and let time help you sort things out. It will all come back together again because it always does – especially when your pain is the good pain.

As another summer folds its tent to depart our days begin to shorten and the cold winds inevitably pick up from the west. Grab onto a good friend or a book or some comforting music and wrap yourself in a soft blanket and allow yourself time to have a deep cry or whatever else helps. Maybe it’s a glass or two of your favorite wine and if we are all lucky maybe it rains on Labor Day Weekend just to remind us it’s really over. Give yourself time and settle in because comfortable jeans and flannel shirts with ornate scarves are just ahead. I’m not sure why this catches me off guard every year but I do know how this plays out and I’m grateful this is a shared experience with other humans. Me. You. Us. We’ve got this.

For most of my life, I have bought into the concept of finding my “True North’” (as if there was a giant compass somewhere with my name on it) and understanding what gives me my best chance to live my highest and best life. Maybe you’ve done the same under the guise of “finding yourself”. It’s a fascinating journey and it tends to be quite affirming if done properly.

One of my favorite writers and thought leaders is Stephen Covey. His book, Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, has had a significant impact on how I view life. Covey had a way of making the supremely complex relatable and understandable. One of the concepts he taught centered around effective human interaction. Covey believed we all start in a dependent state as children. And then as time progresses we strive to be interdependent with our peers and family. Seems like a worthy goal until you realize we missed one important step. Trying to move from dependence to interdependence creates dysfunctional relationships because we never took the time to become independent. We had no clue who we were and what made us tick. We often avoid the opportunity to discover ourselves in order to have a solid base beneath us as we strive for meaningful relationships. If you don’t know who you are, other humans will be happy to define you as they see fit and as it best suits their own agendas.

I think there is all kinds of wisdom in the process of moving from dependence to independence and then into interdependence. But I’ve noticed a hiccup in this sequence. A terrible oversight that causes us humans all kinds of problems.

What if we dig deep into our own existence and eventually find our core person. The person we were designed to be. Our true and authentic self. And what happens when we meet this entity that we have spent months and years trying to find and we don’t approve of them? What happens when we find that we don’t mesh with that particular version of ourselves? I’ll tell you what happens. We repress like hell. We avoid. We ignore. We forget. An internal civil war begins. We find that our clocks (time) don’t align with our compass (direction) and our authentic self gets buried beneath our public image so much so that we lose ourself altogether.

How could this possibly happen? How can we be so steeped in our own environmental biases that we come to a place where our true self feels disorienting? More importantly – what do we do about it?

I spent years building my public persona in terms of who I thought I needed to be to find acceptance. I had allowed the external to stain and influence the sacred and internal. And in turn I was quite surprised to find what I discovered when I eventually “found” myself as the gurus like to say.

I have spent the better part of the past five years coming to grips with what I found deep inside of me. Something tells me it would have been much wiser to begin the process with the truth rather than waiting 30 years to finally find it. But to be fair to myself, I can’t imagine a 25 year old version of me having the emotional depth or courage to let this exercise take me where I ultimately needed to go.

It seems we want to follow another Covey principal that perhaps isn’t well suited sequentially for the exercise of finding personal authenticity. One of the Seven Habits is to ‘begin with the end in mind’. While that works in many scenarios, I believe it is the true enemy when searching for oneself. If we are certain that we know who we are before we actually go through an intentional discovery process, then we will struggle to accept reality (ourselves) when we find it. This stuff can’t be predetermined and expected to be beneficial at the same time.

So how are you doing with all of this ‘true north’ stuff? Is it making sense for you? Have you taken the deep dive and discovered things you never knew might exist inside of you? Are you actually more emotional than you think you ought to be? Are you, for example, an introvert but played the role of extrovert for approval all your life? Have you discovered that you are more aligned with the opposite political party than you ever imagined possible? What about your views on religion or thoughts surrounding human suffering or success? Have you found that you actually prefer nuance and shades of gray rather than black and white answers? If so, how does that feel?

I’m concerned that many have never embarked on this journey. I’m even more concerned that those who do take the journey end up convinced they are flawed because of what they find there. Remember in the Wizard of Oz when Dorothy goes from Kansas to Oz and the movie transitions from black and white to color? Yeah. That. We finally see in technicolor but convince ourselves that black is white is preferable. That might be because in our self-concocted black and white world, sweet Auntie Em and the farm awaits but while living in color we are fully alive but being chased by a witch and her annoying flying monkeys. Black and white feels safer but technicolor is where our lives come alive.

Here’s some old-guy advice from a guy who has spent years trying to find himself. And then when I found myself I worked just as hard trying to avoid what I found. I repressed it because I figured I would not be acceptable to my family, friends or even myself. Sound familiar?

Take a deep breath. Quiet your mind and connect to your true self. You. Not some version of you that has been manipulated and designed by the world around you. Now stop. Admire what is before you. Embrace it. Even if just privately – allow yourself to fall in love with the real you. Sit with your authentic self. Feel the emotions that arise. Hold those emotions. Don’t rush through it. Notice where you feel tension. Which attributes about the real you feel shameful or embarrassing? Do your best to push your ego aside and engage with the amazing person you were created to be.

It’s in these quiet and private moments when life’s real journey begins as you start to integrate who you really are into your life. It takes serious courage to align with this mysterious and sacred inner compass. I promise you it’s there if you can just make time to connect and then value all that you were made to be.

Eventually you won’t see the authentic you as a person to visit. The real you will eventually take over and you will become your highest and best self. But pace yourself and involve your family and friends because they will surely notice a difference and will begin asking questions.

Here’s another important note – whatever you find deep inside is stunningly beautiful. Don’t listen to the critics. Don’t let them write your script. The caricature of ourselves that we have created over time is fragile. Our true selves are exactly as we are meant to be. And you – yes you – are magnificent and filled with light and you carry a genius within you that no one else has. You’re unique, spectacular and you are enough. You are everything you’ve ever wanted to be. It’s all inside of you. Waiting. So when you find it – give yourself a hug and recognize your brilliance.

If you’ve never gone there – go! And if you have and it scared you – go again. Live into that space and trust that you are more than enough just as you are. Not even the witches and flying monkeys are worth going back to a world of black and white. There’s no place like home unless home means settling for a counterfeit version of you. If that’s the case – stay in Oz.

Have you ever wondered how far your eyes can see? I had not either until the other night when I was looking up into the night sky admiring Jupiter which is 400 million miles away. 400 million miles. I understand that I was actually seeing the reflection of the sun’s light bouncing off Jupiter and not actually Jupiter itself. But hang with me for a few moments because this is worth considering.

As I thought about my eyes’ ability to see distance I remembered being at the beach last summer and looking at the horizon and wondering how far offshore I could actually see. So I plugged that question into the Google machine and it told me it was about three miles off into the distance. At three miles the earth’s curvature begins to come into play and our vision becomes limited. To my “flat earther” friends – disregard that last comment.

And what happens when I look down? It stands to reason that the maximum distance I can see is reduced greatly which correlates directly to my height. I’m five feet seven inches tall so the maximum distance I can see looking down is sixty seven inches. That reduced field of view certainly effects how I see my world if I live with my head down.

So if I look down I can see sixty seven inches. If I look forward I can see three miles. But if I look up I can see objects that are light-years away. And one light-year is six trillion miles. Remember that we live in a universe that is approximately 13 billion light years in length. The closest celestial body to earth is our moon and it is 238,000 miles away and all we need to do is look up to see it.

There is a lesson here. One that will make sense to most of us who carry heavy loads from life’s many challenges. Failures. Disappointments. Heartaches. Sicknesses. Deaths. These things tend to weigh on us as gravity pulls them down with us towards the ground. And I’m afraid it becomes commonplace to keep our eyes focused on where our weights are pulling us which is always in the downward direction. Our shoulders drop. So follows our head as well as our eyes. And before we know it our vision becomes focused on a distance of only sixty-seven inches.

In a similar way, all through life in sports or business we are encouraged to focus forward rather than backward. To keep our eyes on the prize ahead of us. But in reality this only allows us to see about three miles out as we look forward. This is quite an upgrade over sixty seven inches but living horizontally is limited as well. If all we ever do is look forward, we might obtain a goal but miss the deeper meanings of life.

Perhaps there is great wisdom imparted to us by our coaches and parents who tell us to keep our heads up. To dare and lift our gaze skyward as we strive to unlock our God given potential. It’s hard to look upward while life’s weights are pulling us down. Likewise, looking up is often ignored when we become so focused on what’s dead ahead that we settle for surface accomplishments and our self-defined dreams.

I’m convinced there is more. There are simply too many signs around us everyday that remind us of how magical life can be. I’m not talking about monetary riches or depreciating assets. Those are ‘forward looking’ rewards. No. I’m talking about the beauty of creating margins in our daily routines so we can think. And dream. And create. And pray. Our destiny is “up there”. We were made to look upward where our vision is virtually limitless.

This goes hand in hand with our physical bodies as they tend to operate more efficiently when we hold our heads up. Our airways open fully allowing rich oxygen uptake which promotes health and healing. Conversely – when we look down our airways tend to become restricted and closed off. We deprive ourselves of life-giving oxygen as well as immeasurable vision at the same time.

So can we try it? Can we quiet the voices of failure and the vivid temptations of worldly possessions and personal status long enough to look up? Can we try to fathom the universe that our eyes can see when we take time to notice it? Its vastness. Its beauty. And even its silence. If we do, we might see more than just the sun’s reflection bouncing off Jupiter 400 million miles away. We might actually see God’s love and grace flowing directly towards us as we stand in awe of God’s amazing creation.

If you dare to look up, it will become intuitive to lay down your weights. They will not matter nearly as much if we can center our gaze upward. Not because they won’t still hurt because they certainly will. But life will become lighter because God’s grace can only be seen and experienced in vast and unlimited quantities. Looking down or forward won’t get you there. But looking upward surely will.

Go find Jupiter in the night sky and realize how far your eyes can actually see when you lift your head. Don’t look down. Don’t look forward. Look up. Your vision becomes limitless just like you. Gravity has no effect on your ability to look upward. Once this is understood you will see that gravity and all of life’s weights have no ability to keep you down either.

I’ve had the privilege of working with a historic non-profit theater group in North Carolina that has a rich 84 year history. This past year has been one of the more challenging periods we’ve ever faced as a result of being shut down due to COVID 19. There were days I wondered if we would actually survive as an organization.

With the year off we had some time to do some intense introspection and faced the reality that we needed to make some fundamental changes in order to strengthen the organization not only to survive 2020 but also for years to come as well.

Or so I thought we needed to change. I would soon discover that we needed to do more than just change – we needed to grow. At first glance this might seem like a nuanced difference but I can assure you experiencing growth is a deeper, more robust process than I had ever recognized.

You have heard it said that change is hard. And I suspect it is but we do it a lot more than we think. We makes changes and small adjustments every day. We change our clothes. We change our hair. We change the oil in our car and change the channel on our TVs. I don’t mean to make light of the idea of change because I know there are deeper levels of change that occur as well. Perhaps a change of jobs is necessary or a change in your health status or that of a loved one. These changes are much more challenging than simply changing the bed sheets.

But I believe there is a deeper level of change that happens when we allow ourselves to go through any period of growth. Either personally or organizationally. And it’s not fun. The primary reason for this I suspect is that for growth to occur something has to die or fall away in order to make space for something new. And it’s because of that falling away process and its corresponding pain and disorientation that we often avoid the process altogether and choose change over growth. We go as far as change will allow without the pain of growth because it is just so damn hard.

As an example (and there are many) think about how muscles grow. You can alter your physical appearance by dieting or doing aerobic type workouts or maybe yoga and experience significant changes both physically and mentally. But in order for muscle growth to occur, you have to force/push that muscle group into literal failure and have those muscle fibers tear apart before they can grow back together stronger and larger. Sounds delightful doesn’t it? There is real pain involved in muscle growth. Which is consistent with other kinds of growth as well.

As a leader of an organization, you must have a feel for when change is progressing into real growth and when growth is about to break the organization into a million pieces as a result of going too far too fast. There is a fine line between the two. And great leaders know when to keep pushing and not letting up too soon before real growth occurs vs pushing too far and incurring self-inflicted and sometimes fatal wounds. It takes great courage to keep moving through change into growth and real wisdom to know that enough is enough for now.

This is true for you and me as well. Personally we can begin a journey of change that can be very beneficial. But if we want real growth we must understand that change is often driven by external forces while growth is a more intense internal process. Change is often inspired by things happening to us while growth occurs when we accept those changes and allow them to break us. Growth forces us to accept being torn apart like stressed muscle fibers. I’ve explained it in the past in such a way as to recognize that you are in a real growth process when your life or enterprise feels like it is shaking and rattling like the space shuttle does as it re-enters into Earth’s atmosphere. Life feels like it’s about to break apart. It’s painful. Sometimes frightening. And common sense tells us to pull back before significant growth can actually happen. But let me encourage you to accept it and to sit in it a bit longer than you think you can without going so far as to be self-destructive. It is a difficult balancing act but I believe we all have the necessary instincts to know when we have had all we can handle.

Ask any surviving cancer patient. Life felt like it was going to break apart just before the calm of remission. Talk to any championship athlete who will tell you about pushing their bodies past the point of their own understanding in order to rise to the top. Ask any single mom who raises her children and holds down multiple jobs what it felt like on day one after the divorce and how she managed to get control of things by allowing growth to happen. It was not the job or the kids doing well in school. It was the internal growth that occurred when she accepted that there was no going back and no other options. Truly terrifying I’m sure.

Think about your life today. Where has change occurred and where has growth happened? Jot down a few notes of how those processes were different. Recognize and accept areas in your life where it feels like things are falling apart. Don’t rush to “fix” them too quickly. I know that is counterintuitive. But let the process play out. And soon you will look back and realize you re-entered your own atmosphere or found remission or you might be experiencing your child’s graduation as you fought through it alone to help make it happen.

In life we either change, grow or become irrelevant until we do. The options are somewhat limited. And if we can recognize and manage this process, the lights will come up once more, the audiences will return, the actors will take the stage and beautiful art will once more be made. I know this to be true as it is happening six nights a week just like it has for 84 years in North Carolina. We made it!

I’ve noticed something interesting on social media. When you or I post a picture for public consumption – we look at it, inspect it, check what’s in the background for incriminating evidence, and we make sure the picture makes us look as good as we possibly can. Consequently, not all photographs qualify. Many pics never see the light of social media day because they make us look fat or our eyes are closed or we are having a bad hair day, etc. We are so very careful with our pictures. Our outward appearance.

But not so much with our words. We tend to let them fly without much filtering. We don’t consider every angle or how those words might make others feel. In our worst moments, we actually know that our words will upset certain people but we post them anyway. The millennials call this trolling while us older ones cite our First Amendment rights.

Why are we so careful with pictorial images we post of ourselves yet so reckless with our words on social media? Maybe one of the things we can learn as we progress through life is to become more consistent and put as much thought into our words as we do our photographs before posting. Or talking.

Love your neighbor as yourself. Protect your neighbor as yourself. Respect your neighbor as yourself. Care for your neighbor as yourself. These are not original thoughts. They’ve been around for quite a while but the power of their meaning has not diminished down through the centuries.

Bring light daily with your pictures and your words. Love people and lift them up. Even those who offend and upset you. Use words to pray for people often. Use your words wisely and choose your words carefully. Find words that encourage and inspire and use them a lot. People forget our bad selfies but our words get burned into their hearts and memories. Make them count for good.

In music, there are major and minor keys and their tones can set a mood in a powerful way. There is also something called a suspended note or chord that is used to create unresolved tension. Here’s an easy way to experience it. Sing this familiar song: happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Daniel, happy birthday to …….(now don’t finish the last note). Let it hang on the note associated with the word “to”. Don’t do it. Let it hang.

The mind and heart and even the soul wants to resolve the note. It feels so unnatural that it creates emotional tension. It’s even uncomfortable. It occurs to me that this is true in more places than just music.

Take relationships and conversations for example. Words have been spoken. Some in major keys. Some in minor. And some have been left suspended. I’m thinking especially about the suspended words. Last year I lost my best friend Lou. He passed away and I did not get to say goodbye the way I would have liked to. Oh the words that are left unsaid and suspended.

On the other hand, my mom passed away last year and I got to finish the music. Those final words completed the song and resolved way too many suspended notes. Now I think of you. My friends. My family. Do I have unresolved and suspended notes that need resolution? I’ve been giving that some thought. So if you get a message from me that might seem unusual – bear with me. I might just be me trying to resolve a suspended note or lyric that has lingered far too long.

I watched Phantom of the Opera last weekend and in its soaring finale, the tortured and minor key Phantom is resolving his story. He has had a lifetime of suspended notes and lyrics. But at the very end of the last song – he finds the most melodic note of the entire show. And it finishes his story in a beautiful and resolved way. He is saying goodbye to his only love Christine. “You alone can make my song take flight, it’s over now the music of the night”. The lyric is complete. His melody is resolved. He can at last let her go and the orchestra can finish what might otherwise feel incomplete.

Too many words have been left suspended or unspoken altogether.

I hope I can find the suspended notes in my life and resolve them before the orchestra finishes the music.

Total strangers found this man about to jump off this bridge. Look at the compassion. Look at the grip. They held onto him for an hour until help arrived. We need more of this and less of the things that divide us. The human experience is hard and every once in a while we need to be held onto. And more than we might think we need to hold onto those who are at risk.

So how does life feel for you today? Are you doing ok and feel able to hold someone who needs a little encouragement? Or are you feeling more like you need to be held? I might imagine that most of us are somewhere in between but either way – take some time to locate your position on this ever-changing continuum.

Here’s the deal – everybody has a story. They have weights that they carry everyday called their past. No one is exempt. So in addition to being kind to yourself as you work your way through your days, keep an eye out for others who leave signs everywhere that their weights are too heavy to carry alone.

Imagine waking up that morning and seeing a man on the edge of a bridge about to jump. The one man seems to be saying something to the man who was going to jump. Something like – “I don’t know what you’re carrying but I’ve got you now. You’re safe. We can get you help and we need you in this world. You’re here for a purpose and without you – this world can’t be whole”.

Another thing that touches me is that once the man is secured and tied off safely to the bridge structure – people still held onto him for dear life. Look at the person holding his legs. And his neck. Human touch is so important. It is life-giving and assures us that we are loved and cared for. Nothing will ever replace the power of touch. Even when all the world’s safety nets protect us – we need to be held sometimes.

You never know when this kind of opportunity will come your way. But when it does be prepared to leave your mark. So let me challenge you to practice regularly. We may not see a man on the edge of a bridge but we see people everyday on the edge of their marriage or the edge of their job or the edge of their finances. And some people have been forced to the margins of society and live everyday on the edge. Simply look around you and grab some folks and hang on. Everyday gives us opportunities to save lives if we pay attention.

Most importantly – if you feel like you need help, get it. Find a friend and talk. Find a pastor or counselor. Don’t do life alone. There’s a big world waiting to help with ropes and belts and hugs. And like this picture shows – together we can do anything. Even save a life.

The idea of writing stories first popped into my mind when I was a little guy. So now that I’ve had 50 years to ponder it, I think I will begin. One might think that 50 years is some kind of procrastination world record, but I prefer to frame it up as research.

It seems to me that writing with good source material is a far superior plan than writing from one’s imagination – unless of course your last name is Disney. Or Lucas. Or Rowling.

A few months ago, I wrote a series of small vignettes on social media during the pandemic lockdown. Nothing too serious but very serious at the same time. You see, I wrote about life. My life. And the lives of those around me. And how those lives intersected and related and did their best to create harmony during a tumultuous time. I think folks seemed to like it. At least three or four did.

So it occurred to me that maybe I should just keep writing. See what happens. Why not? Maybe I could pass along some hard earned wisdom and post some yield signs and stop signs that I overlooked in life (perhaps ignored is a better way to phrase that).

So if you’re here – it’s probably because you were there and you’re curious where all of this will lead us.

Short answer – I have no earthly idea. So let’s spend some time together and I will do my best to bring some thoughts you can use in your life and hopefully inspire you to think and if I’m really good you might even feel some things too.

Why do this? Why not….